Undealt emotions will forever haunt. 2020 showed us
By Dani Nakpil (Mandaluyong City, Philippines)
February 6, 2021
People had no idea they created a monster within themselves until 2020 happened.
I had a therapist when I was in college, who once told me that emotions, whether positive, negative, or neutral, are to be acknowledged and respected. That’s how people heal. That’s how we move on.
The failure to do so will give way to the accumulation of more pain, anger, and bitterness. The more we neglect these feelings, the more we become used to numbing ourselves. What comes next is a disaster waiting to happen.
Many of us have become experts in avoiding our past issues and traumas. Although we are not to blame for wanting nothing to do with these, peer counselor Marcia Bicomong said that these undealt emotions will definitely build up and come haunt us one day.
And it did hit us hard. From behind, from nowhere we saw.
As we were stuck in our own homes, most of us alone, our minds were left wandering. Suddenly, everything we shelved from years ago, came out in the open. 2020 exposed us.
We couldn’t go out to party with friends, we couldn’t bury ourselves with more work since we were already drowning with anxiety in what seems to be a never-ending nightmare, and we couldn’t run because where would we go?
This time, it is not only those who were diagnosed with mental illness who have become at risk but even people who thought they were “okay” before this shitfest began.
In a report by CNN Philippines in May, the National Center for Mental Health reported a rise in the number of callers who reach out to their center to around 300 to 400 a month from 60 to 80 calls before the community quarantine.
The huge problem Bicomong pointed out was that people had no idea how to cope the proper way. She explained in a podcast by the mental health organization Where There Is Hope that there has been a surge in the walk-in and appointment-based clients for therapy. People were ill-prepared in handling their mental wellbeing.
Again, they shouldn’t be blamed because, for one, mental health awareness in our culture is not so much of a thing. This deprives us of the chance to build healthy conversations around the topic.
Bicomong also said that it is important for us to start processing life events to avoid this cycle from continuing. We keep hearing the phrase “new normal,” and maybe, it is for the right reason.
Maybe going back to what we were used to will no longer make the cut. Maybe, it is about time that we choose to take care not only of our physical well-being but our mental and emotional health.
It is hard. But we can try to forgive ourselves and empty this space in our lives, occupied by pain-turned resentment,sadness-turned bitterness.
2020 deserves our monsters. Let’s leave them altogether.
If you or anyone you know would like to talk to someone, please do not hesitate to seek help and reach out. The International Association of Suicide Prevention’s website has a database of international mental health hotlines you can use.
