How being a single mom changed my life
By Nikki Viola (Marikina, Philippines)
June 27, 2021
I always tell people close to me with full conviction that I will be the “cool tita or ninang” to my future inaanaks. Being single for a long time made me “in a relationship” with my career, prioritizing work above anything else.
My number one motivation is I have to provide for my family as the eldest of four siblings, and with my mom being sick, and my dad as a senior citizen. I feel like I was born to provide and help my family in any way I can.
Growing up, I was raised by my parents to believe in my capabilities and use my strengths to survive and conquer the world. I have been very blessed that I have my family’s support in what I love to do since day one, so I promised myself that I will do the best that I can to give back the love, effort, and sacrifices my family has given me.
Though romantic relationships and dating took a backseat because of work, I was always thankful for the love of my family and friends. I also felt that I was at the peak of my career where I was slowly, yet surely accomplishing my goals. I was living the life I prayed for.
But God has his ways of turning things around. It is true, he is indeed full of surprises. When I felt that I truly found my purpose, he showed me that I can do more, I can be more.
When the pandemic hit last year, I found out I was pregnant. With the fear of uncertainty brought about by COVID-19, I wasn’t sure with the decision that I was going to make. I felt like my almost-perfect life got shattered into pieces as I was not expecting the news at all.
The consequences of my past actions hit me hard. Am I ready to become a mom? How am I gonna raise her alone? Am I capable? Will my work be affected? So many questions went through my mind. Not to mention that I was dealing with it alone in the beginning of the pregnancy because I know that I will be heartbroken to see my family’s disappointment.
Then came the day- my confession with the family. I was able to share the news with the people closest to me and prayed so hard. I remember that day, my family’s complete, having our usual family bonding when I announced the news. I cried so hard, apologizing and ready to accept their reaction. But my mom just hugged me while I cried. My mom’s hug gave me comfort, as if it's God’s hug, telling me that everything will be okay. After confessing, I felt like I was finally able to breathe, and accepted my new purpose in life: TO BECOME A MOM.
With my family, friends, and God’s guidance, my whole pandemic pregnancy journey was smooth-sailing. When my baby was still in my tummy, I always talked to her, telling her that I will try my very best to be a mom that she can be proud of. The fear that I felt the first time I heard I was pregnant changed into excitement, because I know God gave me the biggest blessing of my life.
Being a single mom is the hardest, most empowering thing I’ve ever done. It changed me big time. From someone who always tells people “work-is-life”, I learned the value of work-life balance when I gave birth to my Baby Adeona. Seeing her everyday gives me a sense of fulfillment, knowing that there will now be someone who’ll love me deeply, even if I don’t have a partner.
To rely entirely on myself to raise my daughter gave me another sense of responsibility that ultimately made me much happier and empowered. Though being a single mom will never be a walk in the park, I am blessed to be given a strong support system (family, friends, God) to hold my hand and guide me in my motherhood journey.
Things didn’t go as I planned it to be, but with God’s wonderful surprise, I am ready to embrace whatever life throws at me. I am also not looking for anything (or someone) to make my life easier- after all, it’s the tough stuff that reminds me what I’m made of.
